Thursday, May 6, 2010

wtf, google?

Dear Google,

I just want to start by saying, I'm not mad; I'm just disappointed.

elyssa ely nicole

You just haven't been yourself lately.

Today, I needed to do some very important research* so of course I turned to Google. Everything started out just fine. The home page looked fine. Plain. Simple. Trustworthy. But then I submitted my search query and all hell broke loose.

Really, there was just some extra nonsense on the side strongly resembling Bing's search design. Really, Google? If I wanted Bing, I would have asked for Bing.

After all this time I've stood up for you, you're just going to betray me? "Google is evil," they said. "Google is running small businesses into the ground," they said. But did they tear us apart? No. I defended you. "Google is just good at what it does," I told them. "Which is basically everything. Ever."

You used to keep it real, Google. Real simple.

Now where am I supposed to turn? Everyone knows Yahoo! is only to be trusted for their horoscopes. And don't even get me started on Bing. Seriously, though, don't ask me about it because I can't explain why I'm so bitter toward it. I think it's their advertisements.

We've been together now since the 5th grade. I think we can work this out. Let's just go back to the way things were.


But really. Isn't differentiation the number one rule of branding? It's at least in the top five. And when you really only have one agressive competitor in your industry, why would you copy that competitor?!

I'm so upset about this whole situation that I'm going to have to go back to using encyclopedias and other reference books for my research, like in prehistoric times. Too bad I just had to use Google to verify that I spelled encyclopedia correctly since I don't own a dictionary. Damn it.

*Research = Google image search for "raptor"

1 comment:

  1. you could have used if you really want to protest google.
    or you could NOT protest google and download google chrome, because it just spell-checks while you're typing. pretty convenient.